But how could you, with these titles and lead story lines? In an attempt to grab your attention, some reporters come up with titles that attract you in to read the story, or just make you go "Huh?" Most of these stories are informative and valid news. And then there are some...

Scientists probe nose, find stem cells

Gives "up your nose" a whole new dimension for medical research!

Giant marine virus found

So, we need a vaccine to protect giant marines?

Cows done in by bad spuds

Mr. Potato Head joins the Mafia?

Investors drawn to exploding social media

Like moths to a bug zapper...

Giant snails monitor air pollution in Russia

So maybe some good things did come out of Chernobyl?

107 trillion emails sent last year

Most were from that person who has lots of money they want to transfer to your bank account.

'Nuclear' candy turns out to be toxic

Who actually wanted to eat "Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars" anyway?

Putting the dead to work

Jobs bill for Chicago?

Clowning helps IVF patients become pregnant

"Infertility researchers in Israel have found a 15-minute encounter with a clown immediately after fertility treatment dramatically increased the chances of a successful pregnancy."

Could they achieve the same effect with Three Stooges episodes, and would exposure to mimes be a negative factor?

Researchers print solar cells on toilet paper

Does this make TP'ing a house qualify for a home energy tax credit?

Pregnant, constipated and bloated? Fly poo may tell you why

A modern version of reading entrails.

Japan bio-scientists produce 'singing mouse'

But can the mouse do karaoke singing?

Gerbils also get the winter blues

Maybe if the Japanese mouse sang to them, it would cheer them up.

Gene therapy helps depressed mice

Maybe they just need to learn how to sing.

A guide to cat cafes in Tokyo

Remember to leave the singing mouse at home.

Cat blamed for starting fire with toaster oven

It just wanted a warm snack!

Quick-thinking cat saves house from fire

First, start toaster oven, then become hero. And blame the dog.

Tired bees make poor dancers

Make sure your bee is rested before the prom.

Scientists discover unknown lizard species at lunch buffet

For real! So, investigate your lunch first before you eat it, there might be scientific paper waiting there.

Brain Zaps Improve Math

Suggestion for the White House.

Researchers study tennis grunting effects

Maybe it was just the chili they ate before the match?

Elephants unfazed by dynamite, but fear humans

Smart elephants.

Radioactive boars on the rise in Germany

Hunting via Geiger counter...

Can you ask a pig if his glass is half full?

Unless he's radioactive.

Medicare chief's ties questioned

Apparently he even rations fashion.

Why you should never arm wrestle a saber-toothed tiger

One would think the answer is obvious.

Faecal attraction: Whale poop fights climate change

Memo to self: cancel ocean cruise.

'Mammoth-Killer' Nothing More Than Fungus and Bug Poop

Simple formula, but poor marketing.

Scientists detect huge carbon 'burp' that helped end last ice age

Did the Earth say "excuse me"?

Curbing Domestic Violence in Chickens

Another stimulus program

Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts

There are monkey annoyance experts??